Wake up, Jesus!!

So after this surreal week with Jesus, we can totally see his fatigue. I guess that's why he wanted to cross the lake. As soon as we put out to deeper waters, Jesus was OUT! Like...snoring, sprawled out on the pillow...out.

After some 15mins, Peter started to look worried... I didn't know why... oh? rain? ...within 3 mins, the boat rocked enough for an amateur sailor like me to know we needed to get the heck out of here.

Let me tell you: It JUST came. The only warning we had? Peter's look.

Wave after wave, the waters crashed into our little fishing boat. Our worries turn to panic, and then to HYSTERIA! At one point we tried to find cargo to dump....but we had nothing to dump!

Wait...where's Jesus!? JESUS!?! There he was...still....SLEEPING?? No way can a man sleep through this...SOMEONE WAKE HIM!! DAMN IT, WE ...WE MIGHT NOT LIVE THROUGH THIS AND HE SLEEPS?!

Someone finally shakes him. Master! Do you not care if we live or die?! HELP US!!!



Jesus gets up. Stumbles to the front of the boat. Somehow our attention, for a brief moment, shifted completely to him. He puts up his hand, and with authority, says, "Silence! Be still."


And...there was silence...and it was still.








How is this possible...? Our mouths gaped open in fear and... fear. This is not possible... or is it? Before I even have the time to ponder some more, He turns and stares at us. We feel ourselves shrink back a little, not sure what just happened and what ... is He, that even the waves and winds obey him!?...

He stares at all of us, but ...i feel like he's just staring at me. Then, oh man...

"Why are you so afraid?..."


Say what? Were...were we not supposed to be scared?! WHAT THE...


"...Do you still have no faith?"

Oh my. That...hurt. He didn't say it to hurt us. No, He couldn't have said it more lovingly. It was something else. In the mess that is my mind, something clicked. And I hate myself for it. MY GOODNESS, MAN!! WASN'T IT JUST A FEW DAYS AGO WHEN THIS MAN FED 5 THOUSAND?! AND DIDN'T WE WITNESS HIM HEAL THE BLIND, SICK, DEMON-POSSESSED?? DID WE NOT ENTRUST OUR LIVES TO HIM, BECAUSE WE BELIEVED HE WAS THE ACTUAL SON OF GOD?! Why...why do I still have no faith?

I wanted to beg him to forgive me. I wanted to bow and weep and bawl. All I was able to do, though, was... no... i just couldn't do anything.

Wow.... In the mist of the fear, shock, and pain, there was hope. Hope for us, but also, hope for the world.

I want to tell you but I can't.

... that's all i can say!

Disowning Jesus?

Mark 14:66-72; Matthew 26:69-75; Luke 22:56-62; John 18:16-18, 25-27

What makes this a story of impact is the predictability of it.

You have to turn a few pages back and really put yourself in that attic room with Jesus and the boys, and really feel that tension and discomfort as Jesus says to Peter, "You will disown me THREE times tonight."

Can you do that? I really can't...Why would Jesus say it? Just to fulfill scripture in Zechariah? Or at least, forewarn them of the upcoming fulfillment of scriptures BY the disciples? What went on in Jesus' mind at this point? Did He expect his disciples to just accept this? Was He pleased with their vocal convictions about willing to die before even thinking about leaving Jesus? John Mark, author of the Gospel of Mark, was the only one to record the reaction of the boys to Jesus' painful prediction. I suspect this is because John Mark consulted Peter a lot while writing this account, and Peter...well... he was broken the most from this event than all the disciples. He must have recalled his own reaction most vividly. He IS called the Rock, after all, and before that steady faith we know Peter for after Jesus' ascension, that same steady faith can be seen as a commoner's stubbornness. He just won't let it happen! "I DON'T CARE WHAT THE SCRIPTURES SAY, YOU CAN'T MAKE ME DENY YOU!" I laugh, but I feel that same confusion! WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO SAY IN THAT SITUATION?!!

In John's Gospel, Jesus is recorded to say, "Will you REALLY lay down your life for me?..." What a challenge!!

On the FLIPSIDE...what would have happened if Peter, and the other Boyz, for that matter, DID lay their lives down for Jesus, with Jesus? I'm thinking, and loving, how this story is turning out. Like Joseph being sold to Egypt, the disciples are... unaware, again, of the bigger picture? Peter (in John) asks, "Lord, where are you going?"
"Where I am going, you cannot follow now, but you will follow later."
"Lord, why can't I follow you NOW? I will lay down my life for you."

Jesus' next words seem to sound more like: "Oh Peter, you just won't. BUT THAT'S NOT THE POINT!"

As you probably know...Peter become that important capstone of the first church. His testimony was definitely more crucial than if he were to be executed alongside Jesus.

BUT WHAT CHANGE IN CHARACTER!! He was later crucified UPSIDEDOWN for Christ's account. This was the man who called down curses on himself after someone in the courts identified him to be one of the JC's boys for the 3rd time.

What's to be taken from this? I really don't know. For me, it's 3 things:
1) When the time comes, will i REALLY lay my life down?
2) Character change is actually in God's timing.
3) Look at the bigger picture.

I'm not gonna come up with any applications for this. I hope you think about it yourself. I actually just don't know...