Devo # 7- Surrendering
Today I'm exhausted. Not physically, but spiritually. And NOT because I've been doing sooo many Christian things or what not...I'm tired because of the battle within me.
Specifically this battle:
Be My Slave.
well that's what i get from one end. the other end is saying, "don't be anyone's slave, just do what YOU want."
Why do i want to be a slave? What does it mean to be a slave? Who is worthy to be my master?
So this guy comes along and tells me to be his slave. This is quite awkward, cuz he's not MAKING me do it, nor does he come with an army to try to conquer me. He just says, simply, "SURRENDER ALL, and BE MY SLAVE."
I laugh, not knowing what else to say. "Are you...threatening me?"
"I know what's good for you. This will be good for you."
I'm thinking...no thanks, i'm doing quite well. But i was curious to what good can come out of THIS slavery.
"I...have no idea...uhh....so....you want me to...what?"
"BE MY SLAVE."
"then perhaps i don't understand what you mean by slave then...you want me to give up everything i've done, earned, loved. all that i'm working on. all that i'll ever be. to give it all up to you....and....then what?...what do you want me to do for you? for the sake of argument, let's assume i DO decide to be your slave (giggles)...what do you want from me?!"
"YOU'LL FIND OUT. YOU'VE GOT TO TRUST THAT THIS WILL BE GOOD FOR YOU."
i can't seem to downright reject this offer...as ridiculous and absurd as it sounds. Slavery for my own good? ...
That's as far as this conversation can go, i think...If ever a MAN comes and asks these things of you, i hope you don't hesitate to reject.
You'd think it would be easier to know that it wasn't a man asking to be my master, but GOD....but.... somehow it seems harder.
Knowing that GOD is righteous and will never use you for bad...
Knowing that GOD omnipotent and knows the good from the bad...
Knowing that GOD is love and will never turn away...
Uncertainty is my big problem. Not fully knowing God's plan for me is causing me to think, "maybe i should just find my own fulfillment in life." Satan is good at hiding this, so my self-dependence is less than noticable, even to myself.
God, help me to be a faithful servant, a good slave in your Kingdom.
Specifically this battle:
Be My Slave.
well that's what i get from one end. the other end is saying, "don't be anyone's slave, just do what YOU want."
Why do i want to be a slave? What does it mean to be a slave? Who is worthy to be my master?
So this guy comes along and tells me to be his slave. This is quite awkward, cuz he's not MAKING me do it, nor does he come with an army to try to conquer me. He just says, simply, "SURRENDER ALL, and BE MY SLAVE."
I laugh, not knowing what else to say. "Are you...threatening me?"
"I know what's good for you. This will be good for you."
I'm thinking...no thanks, i'm doing quite well. But i was curious to what good can come out of THIS slavery.
"I...have no idea...uhh....so....you want me to...what?"
"BE MY SLAVE."
"then perhaps i don't understand what you mean by slave then...you want me to give up everything i've done, earned, loved. all that i'm working on. all that i'll ever be. to give it all up to you....and....then what?...what do you want me to do for you? for the sake of argument, let's assume i DO decide to be your slave (giggles)...what do you want from me?!"
"YOU'LL FIND OUT. YOU'VE GOT TO TRUST THAT THIS WILL BE GOOD FOR YOU."
i can't seem to downright reject this offer...as ridiculous and absurd as it sounds. Slavery for my own good? ...
That's as far as this conversation can go, i think...If ever a MAN comes and asks these things of you, i hope you don't hesitate to reject.
You'd think it would be easier to know that it wasn't a man asking to be my master, but GOD....but.... somehow it seems harder.
Knowing that GOD is righteous and will never use you for bad...
Knowing that GOD omnipotent and knows the good from the bad...
Knowing that GOD is love and will never turn away...
Uncertainty is my big problem. Not fully knowing God's plan for me is causing me to think, "maybe i should just find my own fulfillment in life." Satan is good at hiding this, so my self-dependence is less than noticable, even to myself.
God, help me to be a faithful servant, a good slave in your Kingdom.
